Archive for August, 2006

Are you still listening?

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 by janice

Or have you given up on us entirely?

Sorry this has been so long in coming. I’ve been feeling a little lot depressed about the wait right now and I’m not up to trying to cajole myself out of it. If you want uplifting and cheerful this is not the place to be. Come back next month and see if I’m any better off. Otherwise, read on, dear friend.

I’m going to go out on a limb now with this blog and get a little more personal. We started this blog as a way to tell our friends and family about the process we are going through without having to tell the story to each and every person individually. But I’m also in the mode of trying to make some sense out of my thoughts and feelings on impending mother-hood. Let me just say for the record that I am excited and overjoyed at the prospect. But I’m also fully cognizant that many challenges lie ahead, and I want to get some clarity on where I stand with it all (at least for today!) So I’m jumping off the cliff into some serious cyber-navel-gazing. Wheeee!

As previously mentioned I’m obsessed with other people’s adoption-related blogs. Despite the best efforts of WOW to prevent me from looking at non-game-related Websites ever again, the game has only slightly reduced the amount of time I spent obsessing.

Recently I started seeking out blogs by adult adoptees from South Korea and Vietnam. These are the two Asian nations with the longest history of international adoption to the US. (The Chinese international adoption program has only been around for about a dozen years depending on when you start counting so there are as yet no Chinese adult adoptees.) The perspectives of these bloggers on their experience as trans-racial adoptees are as widely varied as their ages and the circumstances by which they came to be adopted. It is enlightening – although sometimes painful – to read these sites. Their reasons for sharing their lives with the world in this way are also varied but I appreciate their bravery in doing so.

A lot of thoughts and feelings have been stirred up by these blogs. I’ve written and re-written several different versions of responses, none of which I feel are well-formed enough to share. I will add those posts when they are ready for public consumption. In the meantime, I hope that by reading their posts I can gain some insight that will help me be the best parent I can for my children.

In addition to this blog I started a journal for Lorelei when we started the adoption process. I had hoped to make it a more personal chronical of our adoption journey specifically to her. I realized today how long it has been since I wrote it in so I added a new entry. I’m trying not to let that turn into a whine-fest about the wait etc. That’s what this blog is for. 😉 But I am also cognizant of the fact that our children may some day read these entries. I was struck by the very negative reaction some of the adoptees had to some of the a-parents’ blogs. I certainly hope that I will not give my daughter cause to think what an insensitive, unenlightened idiot of a mother she has. On the other hand, I’m not prepared to apologize for my feelings to anyone. Not even my kids.

So… on that note, since it is late, I’m for bed.

Many blessings to you all,

Janice

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