Archive for November, 2009

And Now for Something Completely Different

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Top Ten Exercises to Become a Better Equestrian.

10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don’t pick it up right away. Shout, “Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!”

9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice “relaxing into the fall.” Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.

7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing – they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: “See Hon, moving hay bales is FUN!” and “No, really, I’m glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse
won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place.”

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor’s number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

3. Borrow the US Army’s slogan: Be All That You Can Be — bitten, thrown, kicked, drug, stomped, slimed, trampled, frozen…

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, “This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is …”

Marry money.

h/t to Ariadne for passing on the list

Took a small spill off Jo-jo while jumping last week. Got my bell rung a little – Stacy things he clipped me in the back of the head – and my neck and shoulder were none too happy. Doing much better now and will be back up today.

Had a phone interview with Pacifica Graduate Institute! I’m really excited about this prospect and hope to hear in a few days about being called in for the face to face interview. So please send prayers/good thoughts/cross your fingers whatever for me to get called back in, for a great in-person interview and good things to follow.