Patience: a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue

Thank you Ambrose Bierce. As well as Bob, who’s blog I shamelessly stole the quote from.

No, nothing new to report.

Still waiting on the never-sufficiently-damned federal government to send the much-anticipated I171H. It’s been five weeks since we got fingerprinted. Nearly 7 since they got all of our paperwork for our file.

Still nothing.

Plus I can’t get a call back from the officer in charge. Now this is the kind of customer service I have come to expect – if not particularly like – from our federal government. Can someone please tell Mr. Bush we are NOT endangering our country by wanting to adopt a child? Please?!

Yes, I am getting frustratrated. Everything else is ready to go. Our Dossier is being held up by ONE lousy form!

I also can’t help but notice that we have gone past the one year mark already. We were hoping to be getting a referral by this time, not still waiting to be DTC. And how the hell am I going to survive another 9+ months if I am ready to go crazy now? Anyone got some seditives? I think that is the only way I am going to make it through the rest of this year.

I’ve tried not thinking about it. But I see babies everywhere – it’s a little hard not to notice what’s missing in our lives. So I just end up getting teary-eyed and frustrated.

I’ve tried the screaming thing. That doesn’t help at all except to make me hoarse as well as teary-eyed and frustrated.

I’ve tried to be rational with myself. To remind myself that things happen at the time they are meant to happen and no sooner. That there is some reason that this is taking so long, which may not be clear to me now but will be sometime. That it means our daughter is not ready for us nor we for heryet. All the things adoptive parents tell themselves during the wait. That usually helps.

For about a day, anyway.

Last month our friends Bob and Hope finally sold their house after a year and a half of trying. They are beginning a whole new chapter of their lives as I type. So again I reminded myself that good things come to those who wait. It helped a little.
That wore off in a week though. Once again screaming-mad.

Then beginning of March, my friend Kix gave birth to twin girls permaturely. At 2 lbs 4 oz. and 3 lbs 11oz, they are little miracles who were pink and healthy and able to breathe on their own from birth. Wow!

In May, I am going to go visit Kix, her wife Cathy and their two lovely daughter to help them out for a couple weeks. I’ll be doing the Naming ceremony for them as well. Something I would not be able to do for them if we were on our original schedule. I will also get to meet the daughter of our friends Dave and Elyse who also adopted from China. Something else I could not have done if we were at this time anticipating a referral and/or a travel date.

So… If I ask really nice, will the diety with the big forearms stop hitting me with that 2×4? I get the message already. When all else fails, be patient. Then be patient some more.

We’ll see how long it lasts this time. 🙂




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